Step 1 Positive Language

Since the school working environment is filled with communication, I chose Positive Language as the first step because it encourages the teacher to LISTEN, in particular to themselves.

All developments come from working with yourself, and usually start by removing something.

Some of the effects of using Positive Language that you might notice are:

• You notice the effect that your thoughts and words are having on the people around you, i.e. the Pygmalion Effect.
• You hear your Inner Audio Loop, the voice that tells you to be wary, be careful, give up, etc. You learn how to use that information in a more constructive way.
• You become more aware of why people say what they do, and recognise the Drama Triangles that surround you, and detach from the worst of them.
• You can then begin to work on using the Positive Language that is needed to soften the Drama Triangles, and create the working environment in which change is possible.

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The ICF defines "Coaching Presence" as the ability to be fully conscious and create a spontaneous relationship with the student using a coaching style that is open, flexible and confident.


Presence is about being there for your students. Really being there, not just your body in the room but all of you; your mind, your emotions and most importantly, your intuition.

You can call yourself present when you are dancing in the moment, allowing what you are feeling to influence the coaching process in a light and energetic way, and yet not being knocked over or in awe of what's going on. The coaching is a dance and you are an active partner in it.

What we are aiming for in Presence is a child-like openness for whatever wants to discovered, experimented with, changed. You will be exploring and uncovering things that only the student knows about themselves, at a deeper level than in ordinary conversations.

In order to develop your coaching presence you probably need to be more outside your head than usual, and more into your emotions than in an ordinary classroom situation. And you will be relying on your intuition to show you the way. Have you considered the balance between how you use your Intellect, Emotions and Intuition?


You will know that you are Present when the coaching has a number of lighter and humerous moments - not jokes that you recall and tell, but moments of recognition that come from seeing things in a new way. You and your students will both feel uplifted by the Presence that you bring to the coaching, and it is your confidence in the coaching process that makes change possible for your students.

On many occasions, when you are present, you really don't know what's going on, you don't know what's going to happen. You have no control. You aren't in control, but  you are in charge. And that means you need to stand in this place of not knowing, in confidence, with your student and allow whatever change wants to happen to make itself known. At times like these, when the winds of uncertainty are blowing more strongly than usual, I find it useful to repeat to myself "Trust the Process" three or four times in my head. This repetition gives the process a little more time to have its effect, and keeps me from saying or doing anything that might upset the process. Sometimes nothing happens, at least not on the surface. Always, a lot has happened. You can consider yourself priviledged if you get to see changes during the coaching session.