How do you see the world?
Is it a friendly place, filled with friends and joy?
Or is it a dangerous place, and you feel surrounded by idiots?
What you see is strongly affected by what you expect to see. We tend to see what we have seen before. We rely heavily on what we already 'know' about what there is to see. We can be strongly influenced by our previous experiences, and by our expectations.
Seeing 'what is already there', is normal and healthy behaviour. Our brains are made that way. And when you know how you usually think, you can change the way you think. If you want to.
If you see the world as a dangerous place, and you feel surrounded by idiots and are uncomfortable with that, you might want to consider changing your mind. It's yours to change, or not. And the result can be that you see the world in a wholly different way.
Meta programs
In personal development, the way we habitually 'see' comes under the heading 'meta programs' that describe the source of our habits, and you can see your meta programs in your behaviours, hear it in your thoughts and feel it in your values.
And you were not born with meta programs, you learned them. Here are some:
Hand-writing
You learned the right hand to write with. In some countries that's the right hand, in others it doesn't matter. You learned how to write, right to left, or left to right. It all depends on where you grew up.
Driving
You learned the right side of the road to drive on. In some places the left side is the right side.
Turn-taking
You learned the difference between right and wrong behaviour. For example you maybe learned to take turns speaking when having a conversation. At least that's true if you you grew up in certain countries, in other countries you are expected to show interest in the conversation by interrupting, in other countries you show interest by waiting several seconds in silence before replying to what you just heard. What are the conversation rules in your class?
Does everyone find it equally easy to follow those rules, or are there people who interrupty; or remain silent for a long time.
Sameness - Difference in things
You may have learned to pay attention to what is the same in a situation, or to what is different. You would then be more comfortable with the sameness or difference. For example, when you wait at the bus stop for the bus to take you to work you might expect the bus to arrive on time, at the same time as yesterday (sameness), or you might have learned that the bus comes at different times every day (difference), and are happy that it turns up at all. You see the way that your meta program, sameness-difference leaves you with different feelings about the bus being 'late'. The situation is the same, yet two people with different meta programs will feel differently about it.
Sameness - Difference in people
You might have learned to appreciate and feel comfortable with people who are mostly like you. They think, speak and behave in a way that's known to you, you understand each other, and life is fine.
Or, you might have learned to enjoy the differences between people, and seek out places where there's a mixture of different races, nationalities, genders, ages, etc. You are drawn to the kind of people who don't think, speak and behave like you - and you feel that is a fine place to be.
Meta Programs
There are many meta programs. They give you plenty of small changes you can make, to see the world the way you want to see it.
Your School
How is your school class, or workplace? Is it full of strange people who behave differently to you?
If so, you can change the way you think about what's going on in the classroom or workplace. You can choose to change one of your meta programs a little.
Changing your own meta program is a lot easier than trying to change someone elses meta program.
Changing YOUR Meta programs
This is what happens in the change process, when you change the way you think
1) Firstly, you don't know what the metaprogram is doing to you, you just suffer the consequences of the automatic choice
2) Then you do know, and you can feel embarassed that the old choice is giving you so much unwanted discomfort. It feels challenging to change how you make your choice, to switch the autopilot off.
3) Then when you do know when the autopilot usually makes the decisions, you can step in and change the meta program a little. At this stage you can do it only sometimes, mostly when you focus on it
4) After some practice, you can do it without thinking about it. That's how you learned to write, or drive a car.
A different view
In the example of waiting for the bus. Suppose that you want to feel comfortable about the bus being 'late'.
Are you aware of the sense of waiting? Which part of your body reacts first? Do you get upset or angry when the bus is 'late'? Does your head fill up with words? Do you start saying things, things that maybe sound like you are not having such a good time?
Each time this happens, as soon as you notice that you are beginning to react, ask yourself if you NEED to feel that way. Maybe you do need to so that you start looking for another solution. Maybe not.
Now you have learned to pause the auto pilot, after some repetitions, perhaps every day for a month, you may find that the choosing process is much quicker, almost automatic.
Is it a friendly place, filled with friends and joy?
Or is it a dangerous place, and you feel surrounded by idiots?
What you see is strongly affected by what you expect to see. We tend to see what we have seen before. We rely heavily on what we already 'know' about what there is to see. We can be strongly influenced by our previous experiences, and by our expectations.
Seeing 'what is already there', is normal and healthy behaviour. Our brains are made that way. And when you know how you usually think, you can change the way you think. If you want to.
If you see the world as a dangerous place, and you feel surrounded by idiots and are uncomfortable with that, you might want to consider changing your mind. It's yours to change, or not. And the result can be that you see the world in a wholly different way.
Meta programs
In personal development, the way we habitually 'see' comes under the heading 'meta programs' that describe the source of our habits, and you can see your meta programs in your behaviours, hear it in your thoughts and feel it in your values.
And you were not born with meta programs, you learned them. Here are some:
Hand-writing
You learned the right hand to write with. In some countries that's the right hand, in others it doesn't matter. You learned how to write, right to left, or left to right. It all depends on where you grew up.
Driving
You learned the right side of the road to drive on. In some places the left side is the right side.
Turn-taking
You learned the difference between right and wrong behaviour. For example you maybe learned to take turns speaking when having a conversation. At least that's true if you you grew up in certain countries, in other countries you are expected to show interest in the conversation by interrupting, in other countries you show interest by waiting several seconds in silence before replying to what you just heard. What are the conversation rules in your class?
Does everyone find it equally easy to follow those rules, or are there people who interrupty; or remain silent for a long time.
Sameness - Difference in things
You may have learned to pay attention to what is the same in a situation, or to what is different. You would then be more comfortable with the sameness or difference. For example, when you wait at the bus stop for the bus to take you to work you might expect the bus to arrive on time, at the same time as yesterday (sameness), or you might have learned that the bus comes at different times every day (difference), and are happy that it turns up at all. You see the way that your meta program, sameness-difference leaves you with different feelings about the bus being 'late'. The situation is the same, yet two people with different meta programs will feel differently about it.
Sameness - Difference in people
You might have learned to appreciate and feel comfortable with people who are mostly like you. They think, speak and behave in a way that's known to you, you understand each other, and life is fine.
Or, you might have learned to enjoy the differences between people, and seek out places where there's a mixture of different races, nationalities, genders, ages, etc. You are drawn to the kind of people who don't think, speak and behave like you - and you feel that is a fine place to be.
Meta Programs
There are many meta programs. They give you plenty of small changes you can make, to see the world the way you want to see it.
Your School
How is your school class, or workplace? Is it full of strange people who behave differently to you?
If so, you can change the way you think about what's going on in the classroom or workplace. You can choose to change one of your meta programs a little.
Changing your own meta program is a lot easier than trying to change someone elses meta program.
Changing YOUR Meta programs
This is what happens in the change process, when you change the way you think
1) Firstly, you don't know what the metaprogram is doing to you, you just suffer the consequences of the automatic choice
2) Then you do know, and you can feel embarassed that the old choice is giving you so much unwanted discomfort. It feels challenging to change how you make your choice, to switch the autopilot off.
3) Then when you do know when the autopilot usually makes the decisions, you can step in and change the meta program a little. At this stage you can do it only sometimes, mostly when you focus on it
4) After some practice, you can do it without thinking about it. That's how you learned to write, or drive a car.
A different view
In the example of waiting for the bus. Suppose that you want to feel comfortable about the bus being 'late'.
Are you aware of the sense of waiting? Which part of your body reacts first? Do you get upset or angry when the bus is 'late'? Does your head fill up with words? Do you start saying things, things that maybe sound like you are not having such a good time?
Each time this happens, as soon as you notice that you are beginning to react, ask yourself if you NEED to feel that way. Maybe you do need to so that you start looking for another solution. Maybe not.
Now you have learned to pause the auto pilot, after some repetitions, perhaps every day for a month, you may find that the choosing process is much quicker, almost automatic.
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